FuriKuri Remixed
by Zeb the Mighty
Summary: Seeking to escape the choking sameness of Mabase, a boy looks to Haruko as an escape. Will he find out too late her true motives? Read to find out! Rated for curse words of the bleeped-out-on-TV variety
1. Genesis of the Insanity

Furi-Kuri Remixed  
  
Chapter One:  
  
Genesis of the Insanity  
  
It was dull... Very dull... It had only been a month into living here and I already hated it. We had moved into this town called Mabase because Mom had some big job offering at the Medical Mechanica plant, whatever the hell that is. I had expected a big city, bustling with excitement, what I got was a boring slice of Suburban Perdition. I had made some friends in school, but that was about the only good thing that had happened. This city was just so painfully dull and every house, street and person so cookie- cutter similar that I soon found myself sinking down into the abyss of the sameness. I kept hoping for something exciting to happen. Maybe a fire, maybe a car crash, or maybe even the giant Medical Mechanica Plant would just blow itself to smithereens. It was a dream, though, and only a dream. Nothing happens here. But I just couldn't help feeling that something would happen eventually. What really made me feel that were these stories- I'd guess you'd call them urban legends -about this guy named Naota; some kid who lived here about 5 years ago. They said he met up with this vespa woman who came into to town on a yellow motorbike. They said she helped him save the city at least three times. Yeah, right. Like anyone would want to save this city. Still, the stories gave me hope; maybe that vespa girl would come back. Maybe she'd take me away, or I could save the city, freeing myself from the horrible, choking sameness. But nothing ever came. Not a vespa woman, not even a motorbike. Nobody, nothing. At least not until my third or fourth week here. I was walking down the bridge when I heard this rumbling sound. It almost sounded like a... motorcycle. I looked towards the sound and saw someone riding on a yellow vespa bike...it looked like a woman. I vaguely remember her yelling something about "lunchtime" and then, by the time I had remembered those legends about the girl on the yellow Vespa, the bike was right on top of me, and the next thing I saw was the back of my eyelids, as I slipped into the sweet abyss of unconsciousness.  
  
I'm not sure when I woke back up... my mind was a blur; all I could remember was the yellow bike and the girl on it. The girl whose face was right in front of mine. Whose face was now touching mine. Whose lips were now pressed against mine. Then I remembered those stories... wasn't this how it started? The Vespa girl had made out with the guy, and then...  
Whoa, hold on. Made out? Lips? Pressed against mine? HOLY CRAP! I suddenly opened my eyes.  
She asked me in a nasally tone "Was it as good as last time, Takkun?"  
  
All I could think to say was "Takkun?! Who the hell is Takkun?!" "Wait a minute! You're not Takkun!? You look just like him!" "Damn! This messes with all my plans! If he's not Takkun then I'm gonna have to look through the entire town to find a person with enough N.O. This is such a pain in the ass!" "Plans?! N.O.?! What the hell are you talking about?!"  
"Oh... you're still there. I thought you were Takkun. Whoops."  
"O.K. for the last freakin' time, WHO THE HELL IS TAKKUN!?" She started looking at me kinda weird. Then she pulled out a bass guitar, a really dinged up one too.  
"Yeah, this might work out all right after all! Hold still kid!" I barely had time to say "What the hell are you talking about?!" again before she smacked me in the head with the guitar. My head was spinning, literally. As I flew through the air, I thought vaguely, is this what Naota had to go through? Then I landed. My head was reeling from both the landing and the fact that the girl freaking hit me in the head. This is crazy... I'm dreaming... this is all just some acid-induced-dream-sequence and I'm going to wake up right after the multi-colored bunnies start dancing around and the girl and the bike turn into mushrooms. (a/n that's not supposed to make any sense)  
She then started poking my head, this bump that had suddenly sprang up on my head. It would have been funny-because it looked a little bit like a dong-if it didn't hurt so freaking much every time she poked it.  
"Bleh! This is going to be just like last time... this is gonna take way too long to come out."  
I started laughing.  
"What's so funny, kid?"  
I didn't answer her, I just kept on laughing.  
Then I started seeing the now familiar haze of unconsciousness fill my  
field of vision...  
  
This is way too weird to be even a dream...  
  
Then the haze covered everything, and I stopped thinking.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
'Sup y'all! This be me first fic! What do you all think? Well, I got ze basic story worked out now, but I still don't have a name for ze main guy ;_; If anyone has any good Japanese names, PM me with 'em. Please R&R!  
  
Peace!!  
ZEB THE MIGHTY 


	2. Why My Head Almost Exploded

Furi-Kuri Remixed  
Chapter II  
Why My Head Almost Exploded  
  
Time fer a/n crapulence! First, I don't own FLCL... Gainax does... I think... Fuck it. Anyway, sorry this has taken so fecking long to get up, but I haven't had much time to work on it lately, but summer break just started and I now have as much time as I want So, without further adieu, Chapter II!  
  
-------------------------------------- -----  
  
Damnit! This kid is gonna mess up all of my plans! I should've known it wasn't that Naota kid, he would've aged 5 years... God these humans are confusing. Now I'm gonna end up having to open up a whole new N.O. channel and I'm almost definitely gonna hafta play the whole seduction thing... this sucks.  
Whoa... I just said all that out loud. Anyway, then I'm gonna need to pull out all this extra crap until I hit Atomsk... once again, sucks.  
Whoa... said that out loud again.  
Man I'm weird. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
What just happened...? I remember something about a girl on a Vespa, and then something hit me in the head... It was a bass guitar, no, her bike then a bass guitar. Then she said something about N.O. and Atamesks. Then I passed out, then I woke up, then I started remembering all the freaky crap that had happened...  
Whoa... back where I started Wait... where was the Vespa girl?  
Oh  
Snap  
"Its about time you woke up, kid" I nearly crapped myself. It was that same nasally voice that had called me Takkun and hit me in the head repeatedly.  
Oh  
Snap I looked in the direction of that voice. She was standing there, leaning on her guitar. She had pinkish hair, gold eyes, and this weird red jacket.  
She grinned like the evil guy in the animes, right before he kills a bunch of people. She picked up her bass, and I wished I was still passed out. Please, whatever deity can help me right now, take this girl away, and wake me up from this dream.  
"I'll just have to make use of what I got here, then. Hold still" I had meant to say something like "Like Hell I will!" but what came out was a little whimper. Pathetic.  
I was expecting to be hit in the head again, but she just pinched the bump on my head (that she had put there) and pulled. It hurt like hell, but the weird thing was, it got bigger as she was pulling. And I don't mean just a little bigger, it got about twice as big, and started looking like a bull's horn. I was officially freaked out.  
"Humph... looks like its gonna take a while... Why do I always pull these useless kids?!"  
"Hey, who are you calling useless?!"  
"You, moron. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."  
So, I just sat there. On the bridge. As she drove off.  
  
'Ya know...  
I'm starting...  
to regret wishing for this...  
  
Huzzah! I finally got chapter 2 up! And it's not as long as 1, but I like it just as much. AND YOU SHOULD TOO! B3CUZE I HV3 T3H L337 WRITIG SKILLZ!!!11!1 Well... it seems that B3CUZE and HV3 are both people's E-mail addresses... I'm having a delightfully grinchy idea right now [Evil Grin] But there's enough time for that later. Anywho, keep on reviewing, you... two people.  
So alone...  
  
  
SEE YOU NEXT TIME!! 


	3. The Glorious Logic of Stupidity

Furi-Kuri Remixed  
Chapter 3:  
The Glorious Logic of Stupidity  
  
A/n time... Wheeee. So, sorry these things take so long to write, it's prolly 'cause I spend way too much time playing the Halo Demo. (Find me there; my profile is Ether, my servers usually called Etherland) Anyway, sorry for anybody who's been following this story, but its not gonna get much better, and if it does, its gonna get worse before it gets better. That's probably my healthy dose of self-loathing coming in there. Whatever. Bleh! Enough being depressed. Enjoy the story, my friends!  
  
Oh... P.S., I don't own FLCL... wish I did. P.P.S, In case you've noticed, this goes back and forth from present to past tense a lot. Just to clear things up, this is all in past tense... technically. I actually think like that, its weird.  
  
===============================  
  
Why...? Why was I still sitting there on that bridge? 'Cause it was better than anything else I could think of. Well... what else can I think of? Go home? No. Home sucks. Go to a friend's house? You don't have any friends here. Fuck it, I'm going to a bookstore. Whoa... wait, what? Bookstore?! What the hell are you thinking? (a/n Yeah, he's talking to himself.) Well, Mr. McVoiceinmyhead, you know better than anybody what I do when crap like this happens. Oh yeah... you go read mangas. Right.  
  
LATER AT THE LOCAL BOOK STORE  
  
I go to these bookstores and read the mangas because they let me escape. Escape to somewhere far away, where I'll never have to leave. Never have to go home, back to that crappy town, with all its people, each face unique but all the same in my mind. Except, this time it wasn't working... I was in my very own massively screwed up story. I was in a tale that couldn't possibly happen, except in an anime or manga. Except... this was real. I had a big, fleshy, bull's horn sticking out of my forehead. People stared at it, but I didn't care. They didn't matter. All that mattered was getting back into my own safe and comfy world, where none of this could ever happen again. But... Isn't this what I wanted? For the Vespa woman to come and take me away, to break the never ending daydream of live here?  
  
Well... Yeah, but not like this. It was the first time I actually thought about it; was this life of endless excitement going to be any better? Would it really?...Yes. It would have to be better. I was going to make it better. I'd have to, or it'd be back to the same-old-same. And that would suck just as much as having even more of these freaking horns popping out of my head. So I started reading. And this time, it worked. I was gone, gone away. And when I had to come back at the end of the book, I was ready to go home. Or so I thought.  
  
Yeah, I thought I could go home, until I saw my mom working out on the treadmill, and my sister watching some crap on TV. The same ship that had taken me away had now just dropped me off at the last stop. Then it exploded. I went up to my room, where nobody would notice me. I started to turn on the TV, but decided that there was nothing worth watching now. I plopped down on to my bed, and was asleep in my baggy pants and my favorite plaid shirt. Sleep was good, it let me put of morning for a couple hours.   
  
"OK, so a kid came in here last night with a horn growing out of his forehead?"  
  
"Um... Yes, miss."  
  
"Good, good. What did he look like?"  
  
"Uh... he was wearing some black baggy shorts and a blue plaid shirt... I think."  
  
"And you say he comes in here almost every day?"  
  
"Uh... yes, but-"  
  
"But, what?"  
  
"Why are you so interested about this kid?"  
  
With that, Haruko cracked a smile.  
  
"He's my boyfriend"  
  
"WHAT?! You've gotta be at least 20! Why's this kid your boyfriend?!"  
  
"You just never mind that, oh, and put that phone down. Don't even think about calling the police."  
  
The guy behind the counter flinched.  
  
"So, what time does he come in?"  
  
"Right about now."  
  
"Excellent! This'll work perfectly!"  
  
Dum dee dum dum DER! Suspense! Or so I hope! Ok. So this chapters the longest one, mainly because of my long-ass beginning author's note, and because of all the goddamn spaces I had to put in that dialogue between Haruko and Mr. Dudebehindthecounter. So, keep on R&Rin'! PEACE! 


	4. Cold Pizza for Breakfast and Other Signs...

Furi-Kuri Remixed  
Chapter # 4 "Cold Pizza for Breakfast and Other Signs That Things Aren't Going Well"  
  
SORRY!!!!!!!!! SORRY SORRY SORRY! ARGH! I can't believe I've taken this long to update my story! God, sorry again. I'll try to be more regular with me updates (Sweet Fancy Moses, Crobdan, how do you write chapters that fast?!) Anywho... I STILL don't own Furi-Kuri, or anything else in this story other than my character. The character who FINALY HAS A FRICKIN NAME! Yusuke Takahashi. I just looked through a list of Japanese names and found two that sounded good together, and ta-da! NOW ON WITH THE STORY! :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
I could tell today was gonna be crappy the moment I woke up. Outside my window the sky was iron gray, a giant gray curtain stretching for infinity. I wanted to fall back asleep and not wake up until I was old enough to get the hell out of this place. But I couldn't... I couldn't even manage to fall asleep for another hour.  
  
As I went downstairs from my room, everything was quiet, except for the slow grinding sound of my brain trying to get back onto schedule. Of course, everything was off-schedule since that freak on the Vespa showed up. When I got downstairs all there was what was left of last nights pizza and a note carefully scrawled on a bright pink sticky-note.  
  
"Yusuke, your sister and I are going shopping for some clothes, we'll be back in a few hours Do all of your chores, there should be some cereal left in the box if you want breakfast.  
  
Love,  
  
Mom"  
  
I breathed a deep sigh... we had run out of cereal a week ago. Cold pizza for breakfast. At least its not oatmeal. =============================================================== Damnit, I've been waiting here for two hours, and this kid still hasn't shown up!  
  
I've already gone through three of those $5 coffees from the coffee bar they stuck to the side of this place and I'm startin' to run out of cash...  
  
Its already passed noon...  
  
This sure as hell better be worth it. ===============================================================  
  
It was time to go to the bookstore. I had already done all of my chores, so I might as well read some mangas. Or, err... I had done half of the chores... fuck it; I had almost got the vacuum out of the closet before deciding I was too bored to do any chores.  
  
Anyway, I needed some coffee from the place they had tacked on the side of the bookstore. I'd pick up the latest issue of one of my favorites, order a coffee, then read through the manga. By now the owner of the place was about ready to kill me, seeing as I never bought any books, just read the things while I drank coffee.  
  
Regardless of the still stinging memory of the last time the bookstore's manager had chased me out of the place, I put on my favorite flannel shirt and walked down the highway.  
  
[LATER, AT THE BOOKSTO- whoa... déjà vu, I said this in the last chapter...  
freaky... Hmm... I wonder... Maybe I'm just here on this Earth t-  
Me: JUST SHUT UP SO WE CAN KEEP TELLING THE FRICKIN STORY, MAN!!]  
  
She was there.  
  
Just sitting there, looking really bored, sipping on a coffee.  
  
The horn that was growing from my skull and that I was hiding beneath a baseball cap began stinging painfully.  
  
Then, she looked my way, and her face lit up like the face of a madman must when he's just killed another victim.  
  
Before I could turn to run, she had grabbed my shirt and pulled me outside.  
  
I should have stayed in bed... ===============================================================  
  
Look, I'm sorry about this, but the chapter couldn't be any longer. See, I'm not supposed to be on the computer right now, and I need to post this thing up so you guys know I'm still alive and writing this. So, the next chapter will (Hopefully) be much longer and err... better.  
  
So, Peace fer now!  
  
Zeb 


	5. At least i'm still alive

NOTE: this isn't really a chapter. It's some lame-ass way for me to make sure all the people who liked this story know I'm still alive... which I am

Anywho, I'd forgotten about this fic... and in general... big "whoops" on my part there. ;;

I'll try to have the next chapter up by next week. I just need to think of a few things.

A- What the robot that will undoubtedly spring forth from our main character's head will look like

B- Why Haruko needs our good friend's head and the robot, which will, again, undoubtedly spring from it.

C- What, in general, am I going to do to make these chapters longer? Seriously, though, they **do** look longer in Word.

D- Where am I going to go with this story? I mean... every time I try writing something like this, I get these cool ideas with what to do with the beginning and end, but I completely neglect the middle stuff.

THANKYOU, anyone who has managed to stick with this fic for this long

I feel as if my fic just might have a future, now.

PEACE UNTIL LATER THIS WEEK (hopefully),

ZEB


	6. If I Had a Dollar for Every Time

CHAPTER VI

If I had a dollar for every time something large and robotic came out of my head...

(Roman numerals... getting' all fancy on ya!)

UpDaTe-O-rAmA!!! w000000000t! I've finally got a new chapter up, guys! Sorry for not being active for so long ;;. I just got kind of disappointed, like my story wasn't gonna go anywhere, ya know? But, thanks to the recent reviews, (I'm not actually sure how recent they are Oo;;...) I have renewed faith in my fic! By the way, if it seems that my story doesn't take place in Japan... well, there's a reason. I've never **been** to Japan, thus, I have no friggin clue what its like there... so Mabase ends up seeming a lot like where I live Oo;;. I'm going to try to have a new chapter every other weekend (note, TRY is the operative word there... I'm forgetful --;;) So, without further adieu, my latest chapter! (hope it's a good'un! ) Also, I've given up on naming my character... he'll just be like that dude in Fight Club... Ya know, the main guy. They never did say his name, right?

She had me by the shirt, and was pulling me outside, the air was cold and made each breath hurt. I think it was November. The protrusion that had sprouted from my head was clearly visible now, the hat it had been under had been flung off. The horn started hurting again, and she'd grabbed it and was pulling on it hard.

The pain broke me out of my almost-dreaming state.

"OUCH! What the hell are you doing!?"

She smirked, "What's it look like? I'm trying to get this thing out of your head,"

I was confused as ever, "What?! What **is** that thing anyway??"

No longer smirking, she cursed and kicked the horn, sending a spasm of pain through o the back of my head.

"I think it's a robot... Medical Mechanica, probably." She said.

I wondered about this for a second... "Robot... head... out... wait a minute! You're saying you're gonna pull a robot out of my head?"

"Yep,"

"A robot?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Out of my head?"

"Pretty much"

"Whatever..."

She smiled. "So, no shock? No sudden scream of... whatever emotion is most appropriate?"

I fell backwards onto the ground. "Nope... you've put me through so much weird crap this week. I think I'm used to it."

She began to smile even bigger "Goooooooooood. That's real good, because I think that robot I mentioned is about to come out."

I just lay there on the ground. Staring at the sun. So peaceful, for a burning, seething ball of hydrogen. Then, the horn started moving, and it hurt more than ever.

"AAAAAAAAGH!!! FKGBASKLJGHKSJDHGKSJFGHKSGJ!!!"

The horn gradually got longer, and longer, and two other, smaller horns sprouted out next to it. They started turning a cold iron grey, and then they became a claw, three fingers each a foot and a half long, all sticking from my head.

She laughed in her nasally overture, and pulled her guitar from nowhere in particular.

"IT'S SHOWTIME!"

Wonderful, my first chapter back, and its all boring and crapified ;;

Bleh, at least it's a chapter. Hopefully, the next one'll be better; I need to get back into the story, ya know? That, and I need to watch FLCL again. I haven't watched it in a while ;;

CHEERS,

ZEB


End file.
